I Suck At Failing

I was evaluated at work today and somehow managed to stay employed. It is a minor mystery to me. I tell myself that this is the year that I will finally get fired and get to collect unemployment. This year I was really thinking about that unemployment thing. I could collect for awhile and then turn my wife into my sugar mama like I mentioned in an earlier blog.

I have been teaching for 16 years and have never been evaluated by the same principal twice. I have an amazing collection of evaluations by principals that are distant memories in my school district. I wonder if I can sell them, surely they are collector’s items. I have a new principal AGAIN this year. I don’t know what it is about principals but they never seem to hang around long. Maybe I am scaring them away. I like my new principal, which means she is probably doomed.

I wasn’t going to let my liking of my new principal get in the way of my dastardly plan to collect money without actually working. I was prepared to give the worst lesson in the history of the teaching universe. Then that stupid ego of mine reared its ugly head. I just can’t stand not being the best at anything I do. My plan lasted 10 seconds and then I knocked out a great lesson. Hence, the lack of firing going on today. Really, is it so hard? I can teach great the rest of the year I just had to fail today. I suck at failing. Luckily this is going to come in handy with my novel writing. Oh well, back to convincing the wife she should support me, I will have to give the super sweet smile the next time I ask. I suspect a “Sugar Mama” fail is in my near future.

About csdaley

C.S. Daley was born in California but has spent most of his life in his imagination. His first short story written in third grade, the now classic "Close Encounters of the Turd Kind," was sold to his next door neighbor for a quarter. The neighbor promptly demanded a refund. An unhealthy obsession with the writings of Neil Gaiman, Christopher Moore, and Terry Pratchett have left his mind warped and broken. He spends most of his evening swilling down coffee while tapping at a keyboard under the watchful eyes of his kittens. They are there to make sure he doesn't snap. He likes to write fantasy for adults and teens.

One Response to “I Suck At Failing”

  1. >Wow, that's a heck of a lot of principals! Yup, you should keep those letters. I think there is a story there.But Chris, I'm sorry to break it to you, but I don't think you're going be fired any time soon. Something tells me that you suck at being a bad teacher 😉

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