Twitter Crash (It was Wil Wheaton’s Fault)



Today Twitter went down for a very long time. Shockingly the world did not come to an end. To the utter amazement of all, the world economy had a 10% bump as people actually did their jobs.

In an alarming display of callousness people decided to go outside and step away from their keyboards. How could they abandon Twitter in its time of need? Not all people were that callous, they stayed in front of the warm glow of the computer hitting the refresh button on their web browsers. Waiting for the inviting ting of a Tweetdeck update.

People forced to actually talk out loud began to carry calculators in an attempt to keep a running total of their character count. A petition began to circulate on the internet to force Twitter to count all communication while they were down as actual tweets in their update total, a blatant attempt to inflate their importance.

Paramedics were called to actress Felicia Day’s house when friends found her muttering, “I crashed Twitter, I crashed Twitter.” It was, however, proven that actor Will Wheaton was the cause of the crash when he forgot to sacrifice a baby chick to the Twitter Gods.

In other news, hospitals brace for the inevitable baby boom.

About csdaley

C.S. Daley was born in California but has spent most of his life in his imagination. His first short story written in third grade, the now classic "Close Encounters of the Turd Kind," was sold to his next door neighbor for a quarter. The neighbor promptly demanded a refund. An unhealthy obsession with the writings of Neil Gaiman, Christopher Moore, and Terry Pratchett have left his mind warped and broken. He spends most of his evening swilling down coffee while tapping at a keyboard under the watchful eyes of his kittens. They are there to make sure he doesn't snap. He likes to write fantasy for adults and teens.

One Response to “Twitter Crash (It was Wil Wheaton’s Fault)”

  1. >It seems so obvious now. Hopefully he won't forget his twitter duties again.

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