Personal Car Tones – I May Need A Gun

250px-Toyota_Camry_Hybrid.jpg

Today in the New York Times I read an article that has left me completely horrified. Apparently there is actual legislation in the works to require a fake noise to be broadcast from electronic or hybrid cars. The car companies looking to stay ahead of the law are working to have these tones implemented before the law. The car companies are very excited because they are going to let you pick your noise. Want your car to sound like a space ship, we got you covered. Want to pump out the latest hit from your favorite band, no problem. You read me correctly, we are talking personal car tones. To which I reply, “Someone please shoot me in the damn head right now!”

This is completely ridiculous. I own a hybrid. It is really quiet but only at LOW SPEEDS (Yes, I am yelling). I don’t want my car to make more noise. I certainly don’t want cars buzzing around my neighborhood blasting Led Zeppelin out of their bumpers. I already have a hard enough times with their freaking sound systems. I love music, hell I love Led Zeppelin, but this is nuts.

Why are they thinking about making these quiet cars loud? They think that they might be a danger. Might be, not that they are. I honestly see one time that this might be true, backing up in parking lots. I have surprised a few people backing up because all the ingredients are there. Quiet car, hard to see out of the rear view mirror and pedestrians who don’t hear you pulling out. I will concede that one. Put a low beep sound on my car so that people can hear me.

Going forward is a whole different story. One, the driver should be paying attention. Two, the pedestrian should be paying attention. Three, it is only quiet when it is going slow. The one area people who want this law passed keep throwing out there is blind people. Now, I don’t want to be insensitive but I have never seen a blind person cross at a light that is not controlled. In a parking lot situation then it should be on the driver to pay attention, damn it.

The kicker on all of this for me is that there are no cases that anyone has reported of an accident caused by not being able to hear a hybrid car. They are passing this law, just in case. The car companies are of course on board because they see dollar signs. They want to sell you those personal car tones. People’s ringtones have already gotten completely out of control. This world needs to get quieter not louder. This is silly. I am telling you I may need to get a gun because I am going to be taking some target practice on people’s bumpers if this stupid thing becomes a law.

About csdaley

C.S. Daley was born in California but has spent most of his life in his imagination. His first short story written in third grade, the now classic "Close Encounters of the Turd Kind," was sold to his next door neighbor for a quarter. The neighbor promptly demanded a refund. An unhealthy obsession with the writings of Neil Gaiman, Christopher Moore, and Terry Pratchett have left his mind warped and broken. He spends most of his evening swilling down coffee while tapping at a keyboard under the watchful eyes of his kittens. They are there to make sure he doesn't snap. He likes to write fantasy for adults and teens.

3 Responses to “Personal Car Tones – I May Need A Gun”

  1. >And the great thing is people target motorcycles for being too loud, when most bikers argue they need to be loud so people know they're there.I'm a biker. I hate loud bikes. But if people want to make cars LOUDER, shouldn't they leave the damn motorcycles alone?Oy.

  2. >OMG! I heard about this today too! How bazaar! I have a friend who has a quiet hybrid and it always seems like the car has cut out at lights, but no need to start making up fake noises!

  3. >That's fucking insane. I want to hurt people when I learn about laws (or laws to be) that are made to encourage people to be ignorant or stupid.You have a great writing voice. I look forward to browsing more. Thanks for sending me the link to your blog. PiaPS I think Harley makes their bikes loud for the same reason, but bikes are prone to accidents from bonehead car drivers not looking for something smaller than a car in their blind spot. IMNHO, they're too loud at times.

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