Geek Card

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The iPhone 4 came out today and not surprisingly the rotation of the world tilted slightly north under the weight of all the Apple geeks lining up outside stores. You know what I don’t get? Lining up outside of stores. I love technology and despite my recent blasts on Apple, I love Apple gadgets. I just don’t love anything enough to line up outside a store for hours on end.

I am hoping I don’t have to give up my geek card but really I think it is stupid. How important is it to own something on the first day? Usually with a little patience and maybe an occasional visit or phone call you will get the product. The only thing I think you can guarantee yourself buying it on the first day is your odds of it not working right have increased exponentially.

I know technology geeks can’t resist the urge to run around and show everyone their new toy and I for one appreciate it. Working on a teacher’s salary and having a heavy travel budget I like getting to see the gadget before buying it, especially if it is one which has never seen the light of day.

Whenever I think of lining up outside of a store I can’t help but think of The Guild episode where two rival MMORPG clans fight over who is at the front of the line. It was funny and ridiculous and scary and something I will never do. I can’t stop thinking about all the catastrophes which could happen. I mean I have an alarmingly small bladder. I would have to drink nothing for the whole day to survive it. Not to mention I am a little bit of a neat freak. I think I might go all Adrian Monk if the people around me were messy or worse. It would be awful to have my nose assaulted by someone’s inability to control their flatulence. There are probably people who eat beans on purpose just to keep the space around them open.

If I am going to wait in line for hours at a time it is going to have to be for something truly mind boggling. Something so rare and unique that to miss it would leave you kicking yourself in the ass forever. For instance, who could resist the opportunity to see BP Executives tarred and feathered? Even better the rarest thing in the known world, a politician whose lips are moving without any lies coming out, unheard of. Or definitely for a chance to meet Felicia Day, one of my personal heroes (this is in no way meant to be ironic because of my earlier Guild reference. I am merely trying to earn my geek card back).

All the lines are gone now and the geeks have gone home. Hours later it has become clear that the new iPhone despite purporting to be the best technological invention known to mankind still can’t solve all the world problems. Politicians are still screwing the common people and siding with banks (thanks Congressman Barney Frank who derailed a bill which would have protected investors against brokers selling their crappy ass products). BP is still spewing oil into the gulf and Glenn Beck is still on the air. Not such a miracle phone after all.

About csdaley

C.S. Daley was born in California but has spent most of his life in his imagination. His first short story written in third grade, the now classic "Close Encounters of the Turd Kind," was sold to his next door neighbor for a quarter. The neighbor promptly demanded a refund. An unhealthy obsession with the writings of Neil Gaiman, Christopher Moore, and Terry Pratchett have left his mind warped and broken. He spends most of his evening swilling down coffee while tapping at a keyboard under the watchful eyes of his kittens. They are there to make sure he doesn't snap. He likes to write fantasy for adults and teens.

2 Responses to “Geek Card”

  1. >Holy crap, did Felicia Day get two huge fakies inserted into her chest or did she just not know how to dress before?Mother of God!

  2. >Don’t worry, from this sentence: "Whenever I think of lining up outside of a store I can't help but think of The Guild episode where two rival MMORPG clans fight over who is at the front of the line." I think you still have your geek card. I don’t know what that is but it sounds geeky :)I agree though. I would NOT camp out all day to get something when you can just get it a later day. Although I was one of the first to get my droid incredible. Less than a month after it came out. But I didn’t wait in any lines, it came in the mail. Speaking of lines, last nite I was out and my photographer friend asked me and my other friend a to be place savers for 2 models who were in the bathroom line, while he took their photos. A and I stood there, and stood there, and answered ppls ?S on how we appeared in the line, and suddenly decided we'd been standing a while and both wandered off, just a couple of feet from the line. Suddenly, we realized the models were done and coming back, and had lost their spots. Oops. I guess it was prob no more than 10 min but our short attention spans couldn’t handle even that lol. So I will def not be in any techy product lines anytime soon.

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