A Very Zombie 4th of July

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I decided to write a 4th of July story for my wife. This is the best I could do with the pack of wolves barking around me (okay they were dogs but still). I wrote it in one sitting and did no editing. I make no claims to greatness but I enjoyed writing it. I hope you enjoy reading it. Click here to read the the three earlier stories. I suggest you read them first if you haven’t done so. Start with Christmas.

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A Very Zombie 4th of July

I know many of my neighbors probably thought I was a major pain in the ass. I was always calling the police on their stupid barking dogs and parties that lasted till the sun was coming back up. I couldn’t help that I liked quiet. When I had first bought the house barely anyone lived on the block.

How ironic that the neighborhood was as quiet as I could ever remember it. There were a few zombies wandering around. As long as Jenna and Holly lived here there would be no stopping that. Zombies were like packs of wild dogs. I don’t know how I knew where the living were but when I was near them my zombie sense started tingling. I wonder if this is what Peter Parker felt like when his spider sense started going off. I liked that image. I liked to think of myself as a superhero rather than a rotting corpse. Rotting corpse just didn’t have the same ring to it.

I swung and buried the axe into the basement door again. The sound echoed down the street. The other zombies eyed me nervously. I was not well liked. I kept them away from their food. I was surprised that after all this time I was still the only zombie who seemed to be thinking. The hunger had not yet overcome me. I will always believe it was my love for my family which kept me from the dark descent into a mindless flesh chomping beast. As long as I could protect and keep them alive I would. Part of me hoped they would be rescued by the army or something. Another part of me was glad they were still here. My last connection to my lost humanity.

I swung the axe again and could feel the door shatter inward. I pushed aside the wood and slowly made my way down the stairs. I knew today was the 4th of July and I was desperately hoping that my idiot neighbor still had his arsenal of 4th of July fireworks. Every year he tried to light our neighborhood on fire. He would buy boxes and boxes of the biggest brightest fireworks you could imagine. He never managed to shoot them all off and would store them until he was ready to torment us again. The other neighbors seemed to enjoy it but this was just further evidence of the insanity of those I lived around.

Now I needed those fireworks. I would give Jenna and Holly one last fireworks display. One last time to “ooh and ahh” at the brightly lit night sky. I could see boxes of the damn things piled up on a work bench. I began to slowly carry them up to my cart. Everything was slower one handed. Once I had filled the cart I rolled myself slowly towards my house. Holly would be so excited.

I stopped at the end of the driveway and began to unload the boxes. I heard the window slide open behind me. I turned and smiled up at Holly.

“Dad how many times have I told you, don’t smile it creeps me out.”

“I am sorry honey.”

“What are you doing this time dad? Mom, gets angry when you act all dumb and stuff.”

“Does mom call me dumb?”

“No dad she mostly calls you a smelly, flesh eating corpse.”

“I am sure she doesn’t say that all the time?”

“No other times she calls you a maggot infested…..”

“That’s enough Holly,” said Jenna.

I hadn’t even heard her open the door. She was getting much better at going all ninja like on me. It was a handy trait to have in a land where things were trying to eat you. I knew the only reason she was still here was I was bringing her food. Soon she was going to have to venture away from this house, from me.

“Hi, Jenna.”

“John, please go away.”

“I am going to light some fireworks for Holly.”

“Don’t do it John. We don’t need the attention.”

“Just a few. She will love it.”

I reached down and pulled out a small one from a box and put it on the ground. I pulled out the lighter and flicked the flame on and lit it. The fuse quickly burned and then a loud boom. Seconds later the sky was lit up in a brilliant purple. Holly began to clap.

“Do another one! That was cool dad!”

I loved making my little girl happy and I slowly began to light one after another. Turning the sky into a kaleidoscope of color. Holly laughed and clapped after everyone. I was having such a good time I wasn’t really paying attention to the zombie hoard which had begun to make its way down the street.

“John, you are attracting attention. You need to stop.”

I lined up another row of fireworks. After I was satisfied I began to walk down the row and light the fuses. As the first few fireworks began to go off I heard Jenna go back into the house and close the door. I turned to say goodbye and knocked over the end of my grand finale. I reached down and set it right side up when it boomed and went off.

I felt the flames lick up the side of my face as I jerked backwards. It didn’t hurt but the smell of burning flesh assaulted what was left of my senses. That had been far too close for comfort.

“Umm, daddy?”

“Yes honey.”

“Daddy, your hair is on fire.”

I reached up and patted my head and caught my sleeve on fire. I stared at it for a second. Watched the flame as it burned through the fabric. I then stopped, dropped and rolled. Who knew that silly saying would come back to me in my time of need. Unfortunately, the zombie hoard decided that this was their chance to get rid of me once and for all. They pounced on me with speed I didn’t know they possessed.

I could feel them biting and pulling. I thrashed about but they had me pinned. One of them reached down and stuck its finger into my eye socket and pulled. My eye popped out. It reached down to snap it free from my face when its head exploded and it fell backwards. I heard the second shot and another zombie fell backwards. Jenna fired again and I was free. I walked over to my cart and pulled out my shotgun.

I joined Jenna and the front driveway turned into a zombie shooting gallery. It took only a minute but the rest of the zombies began to amble away from the house. There were bodies everywhere but I was still here in all of my undead glory. I turned to thank Jenna.

“Oh, that is disgusting John. Your eyeball is hanging out.”

I reached up and tried to push it back in but it kept slipping right back out of the socket. I patted the top of my head. I had very little hair left and there were big chunks of my body missing where the stupid corpses had taken a chunk out of me.

“Thanks, Jenna.”

“You are going to get us killed John. I don’t think we can stay here much longer.”

“I am sorry.”

“I know you are but that doesn’t change anything. You won’t be able to help us much longer. You are a mess.”

“Don’t leave Jenna, I love you.”

“That isn’t good enough. I have to think of Holly.”

“I understand.” I turned and dragged myself towards my cart.

“Where do you think you are going John? Clean up this damn mess!”

I began to pull the bodies out of the driveway towards the Brooks’ house. I was going to be hungry later and as much as I hated the taste of zombies, there wasn’t many options left. I looked back up at the house and saw Holly waving.

“They were cool fireworks daddy.”

“Happy 4th honey. Daddy loves you very much.

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Art by Arthur Suydam

 

Amazon Link for A Very Zombie Holiday

Barnes & Noble Link for A Very Zombie Holiday

Smashwords Link for A Very Zombie Holiday

A Very Zombie Holiday UK Link

About csdaley

C.S. Daley was born in California but has spent most of his life in his imagination. His first short story written in third grade, the now classic "Close Encounters of the Turd Kind," was sold to his next door neighbor for a quarter. The neighbor promptly demanded a refund. An unhealthy obsession with the writings of Neil Gaiman, Christopher Moore, and Terry Pratchett have left his mind warped and broken. He spends most of his evening swilling down coffee while tapping at a keyboard under the watchful eyes of his kittens. They are there to make sure he doesn't snap. He likes to write fantasy for adults and teens.

2 Responses to “A Very Zombie 4th of July”

  1. >Love that these episodes all fall on family type holidays. Something kinda poignant about that. I'm a fan! I need more Zombie dude stories!!!

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