Lord Jobs Gets Slap Happy!

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Okay, I admit that I enjoy poking Apple with a stick. I find it ironic because I own a WHOLE bunch of Apple products. I like to think I do it because I care. I have been a fan of Apple for a very long time. Well, before their current success. I was buying Apple computers in the 1980’s. In the grand scheme of things my writing matters very little to Apple but my opinion should matter a lot. I am not a fan boy. I am a consumer of products that work. I like gadgets and will spend what little resources I have on things that me say, “Cool!”

If you start losing my trust and interests in your product than you can rest assured many more people feel just like me. My blog the other day got a healthy debate going on Open Salon’s web site but I was a little concerned some people were missing my point. I think my iPhone is great. My major concern is Apple has built their reputation as a company which cares about it’s customers. I hated no response seemed to be forthcoming about the iPhone 4 antenna issue. It was out of character for the way they have operated in the past. I hoped it wasn’t a shift in the company’s philosophy. I didn’t want another Microsoft (who took over a year to admit the Xbox 360 hardware was actually a big piece of cow manure).

Today, Apple called a press conference and reminded us why Lord Jobs is the master of all things technology. I must admit I chuckled watching the press conference. I sometimes think people blow his influence way out of proportion but today he reminded me how he pulled Apple out of the pit of despair and turned it into the envy of the tech world. I bash the guy all the time, today he gets some props.

The man was a bulldog on the stage today. He walked gently and used his quiet teacher voice but for anyone who was really listening he delivered a very strong message. Simply put, he admitted to the dropped signal due to hand placement on the iPhone. I expected that. What he did next made my jaw drop. He explained how this is not a unique issue to the iPhone but in fact is a common problem among all smart phones. He then began showing videos of the exact problem on several phones (the Blackberry & Droid among them).

You heard me correctly, Lord Jobs bitch slapped his competitors and Consumer Reports. He basically dared anyone to show him a phone which doesn’t do this. He planted deep into your head the question of why if this is a common thing among smart phones did only Apple get nailed by Consumer Reports and most of the press in this country. He did it while smiling and saying what great phones all of these other phones were. It was wonderful. I couldn’t help but admire him. I knew whatever came next in this press conference was going to put pressure on not just Apple but all smart phone makers and the people who write about them.

I couldn’t help but think of the quote spoken by Sean Connery in the Untouchables, “You wanna know how to get Capone? They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That’s the Chicago way!” He then began to show a startling array of statistics which clearly showed a lot of smoke but little fire. The return rate on the iPhone 4 is 1.7%. The antenna complaint rate is 0.55%.

He did admit they were seeing a small increase in dropped calls with the iPhone 4 compared to the 3GS. Said they were still trying to figure out why. The man held a 30 minute press conference and basically admitted their phone was no different than any other phone. Then he pulled the rabbit out of his hat. Apple will be giving free cases to all buyers of the iPhone 4 because it does help with the very tiny percentage of antenna problems. If customers are still not satisfied Apple said they will offer a full refund without a restocking fee. Can’t wait to see what the response from the other companies he slapped around is. I am betting they don’t offer refunds and will just pretend the whole thing never happened

I know some people are going to think this is not enough. The truth is I don’t know much about antenna engineering but I do know a little about Apple. They don’t show a video of other smart phones doing the same thing if it isn’t true. My feeling at this point is this whole story is more about knocking Apple off of it’s pedestal than actually admitting this is just the way smart phones are. My only regret is I wish Apple had immediately acknowledge the antenna issue. They didn’t even have to say there was a problem, just a simple, “We are looking into it.” The phone is only 22 days old and it works.

I took a peek at Gizmodo’s response to Lord Jobs’ press conference and unsurprisingly they were not impressed. They had actually put up a page of other famous technology failures. Said Apple should have replaced their phone because of an issue all smart phones have. Showed a list of other companies which did this. I almost blew water through my nose. They had products that were actually broken to the point they didn’t work anymore. They had the Xbox 360 on it. I have had 5 of those damn machines replaced (each one taking 2 weeks to a month to get a new one). The iPhone works, if you don’t believe it, then don’t buy it.

I suspect somewhere deep in Lord Jobs’ heart still lives the crazy college kid who wanted to give the two fingered salute to Gizmodo and Consumer Reports. He showed more grace than I would have. I may pick on Apple when they deserve it but in this instance I don’t think they do. So if it makes you feel better Steve I am giving the two fingered salute for you. Your move Consumer Reports, show us how fair you are.

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Link to video of Lord Jobs strutting his stuff.

About csdaley

C.S. Daley was born in California but has spent most of his life in his imagination. His first short story written in third grade, the now classic "Close Encounters of the Turd Kind," was sold to his next door neighbor for a quarter. The neighbor promptly demanded a refund. An unhealthy obsession with the writings of Neil Gaiman, Christopher Moore, and Terry Pratchett have left his mind warped and broken. He spends most of his evening swilling down coffee while tapping at a keyboard under the watchful eyes of his kittens. They are there to make sure he doesn't snap. He likes to write fantasy for adults and teens.

One Response to “Lord Jobs Gets Slap Happy!”

  1. >hmm well i have a smart phone, an htc droid incredible, and it doesnt drop calls. so it doesnt seem like that problem is as widespread as he makes it out to be..

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