A Very Zombie Halloween

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I decided to write a Halloween story for my wife. This is the best I could do with the scary monsters ringing our doorbell. I wrote it in one sitting and did no editing. I make no claims to greatness but I enjoyed writing it. I hope you enjoy reading it. Click here to read the the four earlier stories. I suggest you read them first if you haven’t done so. Start with Christmas.

—————-

A Very Zombie Halloween

It had taken me much longer than usual to walk across town today. I worried that it was some kind of sign that I was progressing farther along the mindless zombie scale. I couldn’t seem to focus on direction. When I had finally arrived at the stupid costume shop I was disappointed I couldn’t find the damn Tinker Bell outfit. Holly loved Tinker Bell and I was sure it would be easy to find a costume.

I searched for hours through the store with absolutely no luck. I ended up taking a tooth fairy costume. I hoped Holly wouldn’t notice the difference, but my little girl was a smart cookie so I doubted I would get that lucky. I did find Jenna and myself a costume. They were a little torn up and it looked like I might have dribbled some of the store owner’s brain on the front of the shirt.

I don’t usually eat the brains (the texture is just a little too mushy for me). When I had killed the owner back at Easter I had left the brain behind. It was a pleasant surprise to see no other flesh eating abomination had found it. I hadn’t had anything to eat in a few days so I couldn’t say no to the brain. Even if it had been sitting around for a few months.

As I made the last adjustments on my costume I could hear the sound of the barking dog in the basement. It had been the Brook’s dog and it had shown up a couple of days ago. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what it had been through. I was going to bring it to Jenna but then the damn thing had bit my left toe off. It was then I decided it was dinner and trapped it in the basement.

My costume done, I made my way to the front door. I stopped startled by the sound of a car driving down the street. Jenna heard it also and my front door banged open and Jenna stepped out on the porch. The car pulled to a stop and two men got out. They each held a shotgun down at their side and made no move to point them at Jenna. Jenna on the other hand had her gun aimed squarely at the closest man’s chest.

“No need to point the gun at us mam. We aren’t going to hurt you.”

“Who are you?” asked Jenna.

“Just survivors mam. There’s a bunch of us moving this way. We’d love for you to join with us. We’re heading towards the ocean. My name is Fred.”

I could see that Fred’s friend had moved slightly closer to Jenna. Angling away from Fred. It didn’t feel right. I was about to call out when the man quickly raised his shotgun and fired. My voice caught in my throat as I watched Jenna crumple to the ground with a loud shriek. In that moment I felt what little of my humanity was left begin to slip completely from my grasp. I reached down and picked up my shotgun when I head the sweetest words I had heard in months.

“You fucker, you shot me with a bean bag!” screamed Jenna. The men laughed and slowly walked up to her. They each grabbed an arm and began dragging her inside. Jenna struggled but I knew she was in serious trouble.

“We haven’t seen a woman in a while now mam. You will pardon our rude manners but we are quite lonely,” said Fred as he slammed the door shut.

I willed my body to move fast. I stayed close to the sides of the houses making my way for our backyard fence. The gate had been broken off its hinges months ago. I moved through and up to the back door. Fumbling around in my pockets for the keys I unlocked the door and stepped inside. It was then I heard Jenna’s first scream.

I walked to the edge of the kitchen and peered into the living-room. Fred had ripped the front of Jenna’s shirt completely down to her waist. There was no sign of the other man. I could only assume he had gone to search the house. I hope Holly was hidden well. I stepped into the living room with my gun held high. Fred heard me enter and I am guessing by the look on his face that I was just a tiny bit of a surprise.

Fred made one fatal mistake, he shouldn’t have taken his eyes off of Jenna. I watched her cock her arm back and punch him right in the throat. He fell over backwards clutching at his neck. Jenna was on her feet before I could even think of what to do next. Fred tried to get back to his feet but was greeted with Jenna’s boot into his genitals. He gasped and fell to his knees.

I didn’t want to alert his friend by firing the gun. I moved quickly towards Fred. Jenna punched him in the face. I dropped down to my knees and sunk my teeth into his neck and tore his throat out. Fred dropped to the ground dead. Jenna reached down and picked up his shotgun.

“Mom, Dad look out!” shouted Holly.

The other man stepped into the room. He pointed his shotgun at me and fired. I tried to roll out of the way but saw part of my shoe get shredded by the shotgun blast. I rolled over just in time to see Jenna pull the trigger. The man jerked sideways and fell to the ground. Jenna walked slowly up to him pulling the trigger twice more. Whoever Fred’s nameless partner was he would not be hurting anyone again.

Holly ran up to Jenna and hugged her leg. I slowly regained my feet but was saddened to see I was now missing several more toes. At this rate there was going to be very little left of me soon.

“Dad, why are you dressed like a pirate?”

“It’s Halloween, honey.”

“Don’t you think being a zombie is scary enough?” asked Holly.
“Yeah, but that isn’t a costume. Look I have an eye patch.” I pulled the eye patch up and felt my eyeball slip out and bounce against my face.

“That is really gross Dad.”

Jenna hugged Holly close to her and looked at me with tears in her eyes. I knew what she was going to say before the words left her mouth.

“We are going to have to leave here,” said Jenna.

“I know. Can I come with you?”

“I don’t see how that is possible,” said Jenna.

“Please, I am handy to have around. I can help protect you.”

Jenna chuckled and then laughed. Her laughter became uncontrollable and soon Holly was shaking in mirth with her mother.

“That’s a good one John. Seeing as you only have one hand now.”

I could feel the smile work its way across my face and I soon joined my family laughing. When I started to laugh they stoped. I looked at Holly who was looking at me quite sternly.

“Dad remember how I told you not to smile. Well don’t laugh either. It’s creepy.”

In the end Jenna decided I could come. It took her a day to pack up the SUV and I decided to bring the silly dog over instead of eating it. Holly’s face lit up when she saw it and I knew it had been the right thing to do. With the car packed Jenna pulled out onto the open road.

I didn’t know where she was taking us but I hoped we got there soon. Dad or no dad, Jenna told me there was no way I was coming with them if I wanted to be in the car. It had taken her an hour but she had securely tied me to the roof of the SUV. Together again, one small happy family.

———

Art by Charlie Adlard

 

Amazon Link for A Very Zombie Holiday

Barnes & Noble Link for A Very Zombie Holiday

Smashwords Link for A Very Zombie Holiday

A Very Zombie Holiday UK Link

About csdaley

C.S. Daley was born in California but has spent most of his life in his imagination. His first short story written in third grade, the now classic "Close Encounters of the Turd Kind," was sold to his next door neighbor for a quarter. The neighbor promptly demanded a refund. An unhealthy obsession with the writings of Neil Gaiman, Christopher Moore, and Terry Pratchett have left his mind warped and broken. He spends most of his evening swilling down coffee while tapping at a keyboard under the watchful eyes of his kittens. They are there to make sure he doesn't snap. He likes to write fantasy for adults and teens.

One Response to “A Very Zombie Halloween”

  1. >Oh wow, wow….this stuff is so good! I can't wait to find out what happens next. "Look I have an eye patch." hahaha! Genius. What do I hafta do to see this on TV?!?

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