Frakking Xbox 360

Sometimes I want to shoot technology in the head (types the man who is writing a blog on his iPad with his bluetooth keyboard). I swear to you my house is ground zero for the coming machine apocalypse. They know I know and are slowly trying to drive me insane. How else can you explain yet another Xbox 360 crashing and burning on me? Wait, wait, that was a trick question. I know how to explain it, the 360 sucks ass.

I really can’t fathom how a major corporation could make a piece of hardware which is without a doubt the worse piece of hardware crap I have ever purchased. We bought a new Xbox when the Kinect came out. I know I was being incredibly naive when I thought maybe just maybe Microsoft had ironed out the bugs in their hardware. Alas, the 360 was apparently designed by rejected Keebler elves. Today, when it was turned on it sounded like a 747 trying to take off. This means my fail rate on new Xbox 360’s is exactly 100%.

That’s right every new machine I have bought has failed 3 for 3 (bought the 2nd one when the 1st one failed out of warranty). I have also had at least 3 of the replacement machines fail, but truthfully I have completely lost track. The frakking 360 might as well have been made on an Etch A Sketch. I will give Microsoft a liitle credit, their customer service is a well oiled machine. Probably comes with all the practice they get. They had a label emailed to me in minutes, my 360 is off for repair. Now the question is will the replacement fail (ha that’s funny. I meant to say when will the replacement fail).

Sadly, this was not the end of my problems today. I have a networked laser printer I use to print my manuscripts. Today was going to be my day that I formatted and printed what I have of the new novel for Sheri to read. Of course, the printer which has worked without a problem up to now suddenly di34r5ttttttttttt (sorry for the gibberish typo but Troubadour decided he wanted to participate and walked across the keyboard) didn’t work anymore.

I spent three hours trying to get the damn thing to work again. I never did get the wireless right. It would find it than lose it, then find it again. My frustration was too much and I finally just plugged the stupid thing into the Mac, threw my hands up and went and petted a kitten. Today was a complete technology fail and a wasted writing day. Luckily, Sheri made a great lasagna and we watched a good movie (The Town) leaving me with some warm and fuzzy feelings for the day.

As for the machines you are not off the hook. I am not going down without a fight. The apocalypse may be coming but you have not silenced me. I shall shout to the mountain tops my warning of doom. 2012 will be here before we know it. I am coming for you machines, I am…shit is that a flicker on my TV screen. Never mind I was just kidding. There is no machine apocalypse, move along people nothing to see here.

About csdaley

C.S. Daley was born in California but has spent most of his life in his imagination. His first short story written in third grade, the now classic "Close Encounters of the Turd Kind," was sold to his next door neighbor for a quarter. The neighbor promptly demanded a refund. An unhealthy obsession with the writings of Neil Gaiman, Christopher Moore, and Terry Pratchett have left his mind warped and broken. He spends most of his evening swilling down coffee while tapping at a keyboard under the watchful eyes of his kittens. They are there to make sure he doesn't snap. He likes to write fantasy for adults and teens.

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