I Need Minions

I would like to take a break and step away from the media frenzy known as  “what crazy ass things” did Charlie Sheen do today and well do anything other than read about the man’s public meltdown. This includes a willingness to eat Brussels sprouts, have my body hair removed by boiling hot lava (okay I know it’s wax but it might as well be lava) and listening to Glen Beck. I threw this one in to show you how serious I am. I would rather have my brain leak out my ears than spend one more minute on Charlie Sheen.

Wait, am I adding to the Charlie Sheen frenzy by writing about my hatred of the Charlie Sheen frenzy? Shit, I hate when that happens. Hey, I know let’s talk about the iPad 2. It looks cool. Lots of people will buy it. I will pretend I am not going to all the way up until I hit the send order button. Okay, enough about the iPad 2. It still doesn’t make coffee for me. Until it does I will not be nearly as impressed as Lord Jobs wants me to.

Want to hear a good joke? Sarah Palin accused President Obama of being inexperienced. This was truly chuckle worthy. Don’t get me wrong, she is probably right. He does things all the time which show his inexperience in the political realm. This is not always a bad thing. I just thought it was funny coming out of the mouth of a woman who quit her job as governor of Alaska mid-term. Maybe this is a secret ploy to get America used to voting for inexperienced presidential candidates. That Sarah Palin is a sneaky one.

Today is International Women’s Day. It is a fine day to celebrate. This year’s theme is equal access to education and training in science and technology. A worthy goal if ever there is one. We often think there is equal access here in the U.S. but just take a look at those professions and you will see they are still largely dominated by men. I try to encourage my girl students that there is no field beyond their reach. Seriously, the world needs more geek girls (I think it might help to calm everyone down). Plus, secretly, I am planning to take over the world with my geek legion. The more geeks the better (insert evil laugh here). I know you think I am the worst evil overlord ever by revealing my secret but have no fear I plan on zapping you with a psonic screwdriver at the end of this post to make you forget (insert even nastier evil laugh).

In the meantime, make sure you are encouraging all students to reach for their dreams. If those dreams take them into art, music, science, writing, anything remotely geeky than thank you for setting my plans in motion (you can never have enough minions). I guess all the other dreams are okay too. Seriously, though, give your daughter, girlfriend, wife a hug they deserve it (please make sure the recipient of the hug won’t want to slap or sue you when said hug is over). Remember, no more Charlie Sheen (damn, did it again).

You have been zapped!

About csdaley

C.S. Daley was born in California but has spent most of his life in his imagination. His first short story written in third grade, the now classic "Close Encounters of the Turd Kind," was sold to his next door neighbor for a quarter. The neighbor promptly demanded a refund. An unhealthy obsession with the writings of Neil Gaiman, Christopher Moore, and Terry Pratchett have left his mind warped and broken. He spends most of his evening swilling down coffee while tapping at a keyboard under the watchful eyes of his kittens. They are there to make sure he doesn't snap. He likes to write fantasy for adults and teens.

7 Responses to “I Need Minions”

  1. Nice Sonic Screwdriver there! (I have one too!) I seem to have forgotten what I wanted to say…

  2. That plan back fires when you give girls too much “power”…example, Kenny’s sister Aubry. That chick thinks she’s already been running the planet.

  3. Wait, what did you say? I forgot. All I remember is a screwdriver looking thing coming toward me.

    But seriously, though… I have NO idea about the Charlie Sheen stuff. I need to google it and get entertained.

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