It’s Just A Flesh Wound!

If you did not read my last blog post. Stop and go read it now. This blog is way more fun if you do. Our Maui adventure continued today and our elusive hunt for the mythical sea turtle continued. Okay, it’s not that mythical but Sheri seems determined to find one on our own without the aid of a tour boat or snorkeling guide. I guess this makes the picture super dynamically special.

It took us awhile to get going this morning because A: we are in Hawaii so there is no frakking rush and B: see A. This by the way is not entirely true. See the last blog and you will note what I am talking about. Over 4 hours of hiking and not your lame old Aunt Alice’s hiking either. This was real hiking. You know the kind you wake up in the morning and every muscle in your body hurts. (I would like to apoligize to all old Aunt Alices. I know I have cut you deep. If it makes you feel any better most people think I am a dick).

We did finally get out of the comfort of our condo and made our way to the south part of the island. Sheri had read there was a great spot down there nestled amongst the volcanic rocks. What she failed to mention was this spot would require trespassing. That’s right, for the second trip to Maui, in a row, my lovely wife who is embarrassed if she jaywalks actively encouraged me to ignore all signs proclaiming trespassers would be shot and roasted on a spit. (This might be a slight exaggeration. I am fairly certain Westin Resort gave up roasting on a spit years ago).

We snuck onto the resort grounds. Cut across their luscious golf course. Climbed back down onto the volcanic rocks below the golf course and began day two of the great turtle hunt. As we walked across the black rocks two things popped into my head. There had better be some damn turtles and the stupid rocks were slippery. Sadly, the stupid rock thought popped in second. I yelled over my shoulder to Sheri to be careful the rocks were slippery. I am telling you the words were not out of my mouth more than 2 seconds when the world spun wildly off its axis to the right causing Sheri to lose her footing and test the softness of volcanic rocks (my wife slips all the time but I put this part in here so she wouldn’t feel as bad).

Here is a hint to all you future Maui travelers. Volcanic rocks are not soft. Sheri has tested them for you and recommends you pass on your own field tests. She hit hard enough that I think one of the rocks said “Ow”. I would like to say I turned and rushed back to her but those damn rocks were slippery. She survived her fall but is now the lovely owner of a golf ball sized bump below her knee (it is going to be a lovely bruise) and a cracked fingernail.

The really bad part about all of this is it was a long walk in. We did finally make it out and I decided it was time to be a little chivalrous and jogged back the 3.2 miles to the car (okay it was probably 1 mile. Fine 1/4 mile. Stop judging me). We got her in the car and despite the nasty golf ball it looks like she won’t have to have the leg amputated. As we drove back towards our condo I smiled and asked her, “is it okay to tease you yet?” She chuckled and refrained from smacking me in the back of the head. This is a smart woman. Why risk a car accident when I have to sleep eventually. I can’t wait to see where the damn sea turtle takes us next.

About csdaley

C.S. Daley was born in California but has spent most of his life in his imagination. His first short story written in third grade, the now classic "Close Encounters of the Turd Kind," was sold to his next door neighbor for a quarter. The neighbor promptly demanded a refund. An unhealthy obsession with the writings of Neil Gaiman, Christopher Moore, and Terry Pratchett have left his mind warped and broken. He spends most of his evening swilling down coffee while tapping at a keyboard under the watchful eyes of his kittens. They are there to make sure he doesn't snap. He likes to write fantasy for adults and teens.

2 Responses to “It’s Just A Flesh Wound!”

  1. Hahaha!!!! Great follow up post. I really really hope you find a stupid turtle!!! ;o)

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