Weiner’s Wiener & Other Tales of Stupid

When stories first started appearing that New York Congressman Anthony Weiner had sent a picture of his love pump to some unfortunate soul on Twitter I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Twitter accounts get hacked all the time. I didn’t totally believe it but I like to wait for actual proof before I throw someone in the skillet.

Of course, he almost immediately had me doubting the veracity of his story when he started spouting nonsense about neither confirming nor denying that said piece of lumber might be his. I mean I guess it is possible he doesn’t have as close and personal of a relationship as it seems with Mr. Happy. It is entirely in the realm of possibility he forgot what the litte congressman looks like. Maybe Weiner has a heightened sense of touch and without actually holding his joystick he loses all sense of perspective.

Or maybe he is just stupid. There must be some sort of intelligence test somewhere which you are required to fail in order to run for public office. Not only was it a stupid thing to do but everything out of his mouth since then has been stupid. He would have been better off hiring Beavis & Butthead to do his PR work. Every time he opens his mouth I have an overwhelming urge to stick my foot in it (this by the way would be impossible since his foot is so firmly lodged down his own throat he is currently kicking his own butt).

You know what I wish? I wish we could do exactly what DC Comics is doing this September. Reboot our entire political representation. Throw out all the old ones and start over with new shiny models which might be less inclined to look like jackasses (I apologize to all jackasses. Comparing you to politicians is a nasty thing to do).

In other news of stupid. This week Nintendo unveiled their new Wii with its iPad sized controller. Now, I admit I thought the controller looked stupid. I mean, seriously, who is going to hold a controller that big while playing video games? But I learned long ago never jump to conclusions with Nintendo, they have a way of confounding your expectations.

No, what I thought was stupid about the new Wii presentation was they showed a bunch of games with their new incredible high-resolution graphics and forgot to tell us that we in fact were looking at graphics from Xbox 360 and PS3 games. In other words, our graphics are so good you likely already own them. Why do I need to buy a new Wii when I have two systems that already own it comes to processing power and graphics? I guess they think the controller, which can double as a serving tray, is going to be a big draw.

The final bit of stupid news is, of course, all the so-called “technology experts” who are once again writing off Apple and their new iCloud and OS systems. They all keep yapping up a storm about how Google this and Google that will eventually kick Apple’s hind quarters. Those people are starting to remind me of the fisherman in the Deadliest Catch. This last season one boat was going through some crap fishing. Every episode they pulled out some new superstitious piece of ridiculousness to break their fishing drought. One after another they failed until finally they started catching some fish.

They immediately claimed “we knew that ridiculous piece of superstition” was dragging us down. Convenientely forgetting the other billion things they tried and failed at. That’s where the so-called tech experts are at. They keep predicting the fall of Apple. They laugh at every new piece of technology joy and yet Apple is still king of the hill. I guess a decade from now if Apple falls apart they will all step forward and say, “I knew it!” I hope they are wearing their dunce caps when they do.

About csdaley

C.S. Daley was born in California but has spent most of his life in his imagination. His first short story written in third grade, the now classic "Close Encounters of the Turd Kind," was sold to his next door neighbor for a quarter. The neighbor promptly demanded a refund. An unhealthy obsession with the writings of Neil Gaiman, Christopher Moore, and Terry Pratchett have left his mind warped and broken. He spends most of his evening swilling down coffee while tapping at a keyboard under the watchful eyes of his kittens. They are there to make sure he doesn't snap. He likes to write fantasy for adults and teens.

One Response to “Weiner’s Wiener & Other Tales of Stupid”

  1. I enjoyed reading your comments and was disappointed to see that Weiner pulled out early. I thought he had a real shot at keeping his career on the rise and like golf could have just taken a stroke penalty and kept the Weiner moving forward. Oh well, twas not to be. My favorite headline of the week is “Boehner making jokes about Weiner.” Congress may have other Weiners but we are going to miss this sideshow now that he’s gone. There’s also a Congressman Dicks and he’s our last hope for another Weinergate in this century.

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