The Sandman is A Bastard!

I am not going to lie here. I have terrible sleeping habits. I don’t know if I have some dreadful case of lifetime insomnia or it’s just another link in my chain of weirdness. Having said that the Sandman has been a real bastard to me lately (I should know as I am a lifetime member of that club also. At least according to the Catholic Church and we know they are never wrong).

I went from getting minimal sleep to absolutely ridiculous amounts of not sleeping. Today is Wednesday and I swear it already feels like Sunday. I think I have been averaging about three hours of sleep a night since Sunday. It’s been the same everyday too. I fall asleep and then wake up a few hours later and then proceed to not sleep for the rest of the night (of course while this is happening I am surrounded by a wife and two cats mocking me with their sleep). I feel like a zombie today. I felt like warning my students. I mean I am pretty sure it is against the law to start foaming at the mouth and then start gnawing on a kid’s arm.

It probably doesn’t help at all that my school district is in deep financial crisis again and it looks like I am taking a good pay cut, again, along with losing 10 student contact days. This would be bad enough if it was only caused by the state’s terrible economy but my district has mismanaged their money something fierce. Two huge mistakes have left it cash poor.

Somehow I have to find a way to get to sleep tonight. Since having Sheri hit me with a club is not an option I will have to rely on outwitting the Sandman. Maybe if I wear a Darth Vader mask he will stop fucking with me. The really ironic part of all of this is I have stopped drinking coffee. Haven’t had a cup in almost a month. My caffeine intake is way down. I find this ridiculous. I am going back to drinking coffee. I always told people it didn’t affect me but apparently I was wrong. It seems if I don’t drink it I can’t sleep. Tonight I am drinking a gallon of the delicious java and then going Sandman hunting in my dreams. That bastard is getting a boot to the head.

Art by Jack Kirby

About csdaley

C.S. Daley was born in California but has spent most of his life in his imagination. His first short story written in third grade, the now classic "Close Encounters of the Turd Kind," was sold to his next door neighbor for a quarter. The neighbor promptly demanded a refund. An unhealthy obsession with the writings of Neil Gaiman, Christopher Moore, and Terry Pratchett have left his mind warped and broken. He spends most of his evening swilling down coffee while tapping at a keyboard under the watchful eyes of his kittens. They are there to make sure he doesn't snap. He likes to write fantasy for adults and teens.

2 Responses to “The Sandman is A Bastard!”

  1. insomniaclabrat Reply May 9, 2012 at 9:36 pm

    I’m with you on the sleep thing this week. It’s not helping that the dog likes to wake up an hour and a half earlier than I need to be up (I usually have a hard time falling asleep, wake up several times, and eventually actually fall asleep toward morning). Plus, he sleeps all the time. Grr.

    I think stress has a lot to do with it for me too, but it’s hard to de-stress when you’re exhausted! Your school district situation sounds horrible 😦

  2. I have similar issues and the only thing that has helped me is Melatonin. I swear by it now. Worth checking out.

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